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Anna Liu LCSW, Wiser Counseling
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Exploring Ethical Non–Monogamy: How Does Sex Positive Therapy Support You?

Jan 15, 2024-By: Rebecca Nelson, LAMFT
Exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy: How Does Sex Positive Therapy Support You?
Navigating the vast landscape of relationship dynamics reveals a plethora of choices for couples, one of which is ethical non-monogamy (ENM). This approach allows individuals within a committed partnership to explore relationships outside the exclusivity of monogamy while maintaining honesty and respect.

If you’re drawn to this model of partnership, whether out of curiosity or a deeper desire for change, you likely have numerous questions about how this shift could impact your relationship.

I provide guidance and counseling to individuals and couples considering ENM. This involves creating a supportive space where you can openly discuss your aspirations and concerns about opening your relationship. My role is to facilitate healthy, constructive conversations that help you and your partner establish shared values, set boundaries, and develop the skills necessary for managing conflicts that may arise from this transition.

Types of Ethical Non–Monogamy:
Ethical non-monogamy encompasses various forms including:

  1. Polyamory: This involves maintaining multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, with all being considered equal or some prioritized over others depending on the agreed structure (hierarchical or non-hierarchical).
  2. Open Relationships: Typically focuses on allowing sexual connections outside the primary relationship, while the emotional commitment remains with the primary partner.
  3. Swinging: Often involves couples participating in sexual activities with other couples or individuals, generally emphasizing sexual experiences over emotional connections.
  4. Relationship Anarchy: This style rejects traditional relationship hierarchies entirely, focusing on personal freedom and forming relationships based on individual preferences without predefined rules.
  5. Blended Varieties: These may include hierarchical polyamory or solo polyamory, where individuals engage in multiple relationships but do not rank one above the other.
What if My Partner is Hesitant?
It’s crucial to acknowledge that ENM isn’t suited for everyone and requires a significant level of emotional maturity, trust, and open communication. Should your partner feel uncertain, it’s essential to engage in empathetic and honest dialogue. Therapy can play a crucial role here, allowing both partners to express their feelings safely and explore the reasons behind their interest in ENM or their hesitations. Together, we can work through any emotions that arise, such as jealousy or insecurity, and help you both reach a mutual understanding or decide on the best path forward for your relationship.

The decision to explore ENM should not be seen as a remedy for existing relationship issues. Instead, it’s an opportunity to expand upon a strong, healthy foundation where all involved feel valued and heard. In our sessions, we will collaboratively navigate this journey, addressing any feelings of vulnerability, exploring your values, and potentially adjusting to how society perceives non-traditional relationship models.

Ethical non-monogamy offers a unique set of challenges but also the potential for profound personal growth and relationship enrichment. With professional support from a sex-positive therapist, you and your partner can discover whether this path aligns with your desires and relationship goals, ensuring both of you are respected and fulfilled in the process. Contact me to learn more.

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