Couples Therapy
There’s always been something special between you.
That spark…
That chemistry…
That “getting each other without speaking”…
That was how you fell in love. It was something so special. At last, you had found THE ONE.
Until THE ONE became “the one on the other side”…
The love wasn’t the only thing special. The pain and hurt are special, too. It’s a headache and heartache like you’ve never experienced.
Maybe that’s the trick of love’s power: It invigorates, energizes, and empowers enough to bring two people closer than anything.
But when it turns the edge, it stabs deeper than anyone else could. It hurts, defeats, infuriates, and saddens like nothing else.
What turns something so sweet into something so bitter?
It used to be: “I can’t wait to spend time with you.” Now, it’s: “I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around you.”
It used to be: “I feel I am the most attractive person in the world in your eyes.” Now, it’s: “I could never do anything right or live up to your standards.”
It used to be: “We have each other’s back, and no problem will stand in our way!” Now, it’s: “Why are we sticking together if all I do is upset you?”
“We love and care because we had that connection.”
“But since when and how did we lose the connection?”
“What has gone wrong?”
You just can’t break the cycle…
Talking but not being heard…
Communicating but not being understood…
Explaining, confessing, confronting, apologizing…
Even when you have a nice day or week together… BOOM!! It’s back to square one, fighting about the same things again.
Conversations always devolve into accusations, complaints, attacks, and defenses.
The resentment, frustration, anger, and even hatred have accumulated so that you don’t know if you can get the love and affection back – even if you wanted to.
Couples therapy helps rebuild that lost connection.
The problems in a significant relationship are often not what you talk about.
Rather, it’s how you talk about the problems.
Couples therapy often starts with a “diagnosis” of how you talk to each other – how you communicate your needs and respond to your partner’s emotional requests.
An experienced therapist can examine with a neutral perspective the patterns underlying your interactions with each other. The focus can then shift to reconstructing healthy communication.
You’ll be amazed at how effective communication will make you feel connected, attended to, understood, supported, and loved in your relationship!
It’s about clarity… and growth.
Relationships are the emotional bond between us, and so much affects that bond. There’s your parents, extended family, exes, kids… we all bring our past, our baggage, and other “significant bits” into our relationships.
No relationship starts or develops with a clean slate.
How we interact with our significant other says a lot about us. It reflects our strengths and weaknesses, our passions and fears, and our assurances and insecurities.
A big part of couples therapy is developing a deeper understanding of yourself. When you know your triggers, emotional responses, and patterns, you can find more effective ways of responding to your partner.
You’ll be better at connecting with others… and giving and receiving love.
You can restore your special connection and return to LOVE.
Weeds might be covering it up right now, but hope is not lost if you can remember that special connection you had with your partner. With the right tools and fertilizers, you can weed this garden and cultivate healthy flowers again.
And if the clarity that comes with couples therapy suggests that you should end your relationship, you can do that with respect and dignity… and in a way that minimizes hurt.
Either way, couples therapy is a good idea.
Call me for your free consultation. Let’s start working on it right now! (602) 456-4150
